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What I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married & Divorced

February 14, 2023 | by Patricia M. Barbarito

Happy Valentine’s Day! Heartbreak & Hope celebrates our first anniversary AND launches our fourth season with a look back – not over the past 18 thought-provoking episodes, but on the hindsight lessons that host Pat Barbarito and some of her bravest clients have learned throughout their own marriages and divorces.


Anecdotes from first surviving, then healing, their heartbreak include:

  • How much do shared values and life philosophies matter;
  • What your potential spouse’s parents’ relationship can tell you;
  • The importance of addressing your own issues and developing a strong sense of self-respect;
  • Why it’s critical to agree on the makeup of the family’s foundation (children, couple, individual);
  • What is narcissistic behavior and how knowing a potential partner’s psych profile can help avoid a lifetime of pain;
  • How counseling can help you become a better communicator but won’t necessarily solve all relationship problems;
  • How prenuptial agreements play an important part in the dissolution of a relationship whether by divorce or death;
  • The value of a divorce lawyer who is an emotionally intelligent strategist with deep knowledge of the matrimonial laws in a specific region;
  • Understanding the depth of the legal obligations you take on when getting married;
  • Why mediation isn’t always the best way forward and can sometimes be a punishment;
  • The pain of parental alienation and the perceived inability of courts to address it;
  • A few thoughts about navigating divorce in America as an international spouse; and so much more.

BONUS: If the human brain doesn’t stop maturing until one’s late twenties, should anyone take on a lifetime commitment before then? Check out Big Think’s most recent article on the latest neuroscience research.


About Heartbreak & Hope

Heartbreak & Hope PodcastCo-managing partner and divorce lawyer Pat Barbarito thought she knew all about complex relationships and the laws that govern them – until her own marriage of 17 years ended and she determined to get to the heart of love, marriage, and human connection. Her journey spanned the entire scope of relationships – from the science of attraction to the financial impact of separation, to old myths that society still touts as true to new laws that outline how to navigate both uniting and uncoupling.

Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito offers insights, anecdotes, and guidance from a variety of experts and includes her own perspective on how best to thrive through any stage of relationship building.


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